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 Am I doing it right?

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Angelo488
Newborn
Newborn


Join date : 2012-08-17

Am I doing it right? Empty
PostSubject: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 3:42 am

Sorry this is so long, but I don't want to leave anything out that may be useful.

My daughter and I recently went to the Inhumane Society to look for a new dog. I have always wanted a husky, but the chance of finding a full bred Siberian in a shelter is slim, and I am a proponent of rescuing dogs from kill shelters. While there, a couple walked in to surrender their husky, and without question we took him before they could even sign him in. I was completely ecstatic. I have been researching huskies for years, and have spent some time with them. I have also had and trained other dogs, so I felt I was ready to take on the challenge. For the most part, I believe I am doing things right. We have another dog and they have become great friends. We have a huge yard and plenty of time to give him exercise. He went to obedience training before we got him, and we are continuing his training and are including the entire family to establish order.

Here is my challenge. He is 10 months old, and his previous owners kept him in an apartment since he was a pup. They didn't seem too broken up about getting rid of him, so I assume they weren't that connected. He is up on all shots, micro-chipped, and in healthy condition, so at least they physically took care of a few things. We have had him for about two months, and he is very disassociated from all humans in the house. He has no problem with my other dog, and loves spending time with him. Me, however, not so much. He is submissive to me, so I believe he understands his order in the pack, but we just aren't becoming friends the way I had hoped. Occasionally he comes to me when called, but most of the time he looks at me like he can't be bothered. Once in a while, he even stares at me as if he is debating on challenging me for the alpha position, but he always looks away when I stare him down. He does act loving when he is close to me, kisses my face, lays under my feet, etc, etc. It just doesn't happen that often, and it's only if I call him over, and it lasts just a minute or two until he walks away again. He also is always happy when I get home, and talks to me as huskies do.

My question is, what else can I be doing to develop a relationship? As expected, this is a very different situation than any other dog I've had. It has always been an instant and strong bond with others, but they were all pups and mixed breeds. I am very interested in being his friend. The whole family is falling in love with him. He also doesn't wag his tail like most dogs do when they get excited. Is this normal, or part of the same issues? One thing I believe I am not doing enough is spending time alone with him without my other dog around. My other dog is very jealous, and always stands between us.

What are some suggestions on how to ensure he knows his place in the pecking order? Is it just a matter of time? It has only been two months. I just don't want it to stay like this, or even get worse.

Any help is greatly appreciated. I'm dedicated to making sure he has a long happy life, but a person can read all the books they want, and follow all the rules, but nothing will completely prepare them for the real thing.

His name is Meeko, and my other is Mojo
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MyKeeonah
Teenager
Teenager
MyKeeonah

Male Join date : 2012-01-28
Location : OR

Am I doing it right? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 5:39 am

in any rescue situation, it is unrealistic to expect the kind of love and affection you are after so soon. That is just the blunt truth. A 10 month old dog, taken from his first family, clearly not given the life it deserves from it's second family, then given to another family, that has to be so traumatic. I don;t even know if it's possible to smother a dog, but I mean it sounds like you are giving him all the love in the world. I would recommend taking him places that are associated with lots of fun, like dog parks, the beach, hiking, etc. One on one trips, walks, whatever you feel. Eventually if you are consistent in love and stern and consistent in training, he will accept you as the matriarch of the pack, and adjust accordingly.

In short, you can't expect too much too soon, and in the grand scope of things, 2 months is probably a little to soon to expect the affection of a dog that lived it's first 8 months not knowing you exist. If i was adopted, I wouldn't call any new parent "mom" until they had completely distinguished themselves as my benefactor.

Keep loving on him, and I'm sure he will come around in due time. Thank you so much for rescuing Smile
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SaraB
Rescue Subject Moderator
SaraB

Female Join date : 2010-09-09
Location : Deltona, FL

Am I doing it right? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 6:08 am

Yeah, give it time. Two months isn't very long for a rescue. From your description he sounds like he's pretty affectionate already. Some siberians are just more independent than others. One of mine will follow you around until you notice her, but my other one could care less most of the time. You have to go to her if you want kisses and sometimes when you call her she pretends to be deaf. So don't worry or get discouraged. At 10 months, he's also going through his teenage stage and sounds like he's testing out his independence (my more independent sibe acted like that when she was around 9 months old). It sounds like you're on the right track and I bet in 4 more months he'll be like a new dog and you'll wonder why you ever worried.

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-Sara

Am I doing it right? Woowoosig
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Hayden_69
Senior
Senior
Hayden_69

Female Join date : 2011-12-26
Location : Alexandria, VA

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PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 8:37 am

Congrats on the new addition!

Poor guy must be so confused right now! My 10 month old is very much the same way! He's not really loving at all, pretty much only when he wants to be. I tell everyone he has more of a cat personality. I wouldn't look into it too much, I heard that some get more affectionate with age. A friend of mine has a 5 year old male that use to act just like Hayden and out of the blue became really loving and clingy.

Like other's suggested, just be patient and in due time you will having a loving family member. Smile
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Balonsmom
Senior
Senior
Balonsmom

Female Join date : 2012-05-02
Location : MD

Am I doing it right? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 9:37 am

I consider myself lucky because my 6 month old male Balon is extremely loving, and he is just as loving and affectionate as my 1 year old lab! That being said I have had both since their were puppies! The bond formed early.

You have had a 10 month old for only 2 months, he has to learn to trust before he can show affection. Who knows how he was treated? He may have been taken care of physically, but it doesn't sound like he was taken care of mentally? He may have been told to "go away, or go lie down". BUT you state that he is affectionate when he comes to you. That is a good sign, I think he does see you as a "friend". Also regarding the staring Balon stares at me all the time, I don't take it as his trying to challenge me, I take it that the breed is very intuitive, I think he's just checking me out to see what I'm doing or how I'm feeling. I can see the wheels turning in Balon's eyes! And like you said if I stare back Balon always looks away lol.

I think with lots of patience and lots of love, even if only on his terms at first, this dog will continue to come around. Good luck, and thanks for rescuing him!
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Koda
Ms. Amicable
Koda

Female Join date : 2009-05-20
Location : Glenville, NY

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PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 11:56 am

My general rule of thumb is rescues take about 6 months to come out of their shells. That held true for both of mine. Hailey loved affection from the beginning, but she wasn't herself for about 6 months. Koda was as independent and aloof as they come. In fact, he didn't start liking/showing affection until this last year and we've had him since July 2007--and he was still very bonded to me from the start. There was a marked difference in his reactions to me as there were to John, but I spent a lot of alone time with Koda, so that helped.

As others have said, I think you're expecting too much too soon, especially with this breed which is considered to be more independent than most. So you're doing nothing wrong Smile Just keep it up and he'll come around eventually.

The tail wagging thing and his general demeanor is all spot on for rescues. He sounds just like Koda when we got him at 7 months old. He never curled or wagged his tail. It took him about 6 months to do that Wink

Lastly, I want to caution against the idea of him challenging you as Alpha. It doesn't generally happen that way. Staring him down is a good way to make him feel uncomfortable, because you're simply intimidating him. The "Alpha" mentality as a whole is very misunderstood. To put it in perspective, Koda comes up to me and stares at me all the time. It means nothing other than "Mom, I'd like to go out please." or "Mom, I'm hungry." "Mom, you're paying way too much attention to your guests and not enough attention to me." He's not challenging me, he wants my attention for something. And Koda is probably one of the more strong-willed/dominant(I hesitate using that word too) huskies I've ever met. So don't be fooled. He probably just wants something, not challenging you Smile

Thank you very much for rescuing. Good luck!

_________________
www.itsahuskything.com
It's a husky thing... you wouldn't understand.

Am I doing it right? Hailey10
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SabakaMom
Senior
Senior
SabakaMom

Female Join date : 2011-02-10
Location : Virginia

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PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 1:25 pm

Welcome! I have had two huskies, both raised from puppies even though the first was more of a rescue situation. Neither are affectionate at all. Rarely have our huskies run to greet us when we get home. We are happy to see Sabaka actually get up and walk over to us with his tail wagging when one of us comes home. He also does this little "ear quiver" which shows us that he is actually excited to she us. Also know that we actually greet him in a happy, excited voice and often even drop onto one knee and pet him. He just doesn't seem to care. He follows us if he wants something, like to play or to eat or to go outside. He does enjoy being in near us, choosing to always be in the room with us. As someone else said huskies are very cat-like.

I've watched videos that other people post showing their loving huskies. I don't think you'll ever see one of those from me. Sad
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Angelo488
Newborn
Newborn


Join date : 2012-08-17

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PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 1:35 pm

Wow. I was surely not expecting so many responses so quickly. This shows me that this forum is going to be a great resource while learning about my new family member. Thank you all for your suggestions and experiences. I agree that I just need to be more patient. He may even know I posted this because this morning he was a little more affectionate..lol. Thank you everyone! I will post an update after a while to share my experience with his adjustments. Now to figure out a more effective way to keep him contained. I am aware these guys are fantastic escape artists, but even after all my preparation, he still figured a way out. It's actually an easy fix though, so let the battle of the minds begin. I'm pretty sure I can stay ahead of him : ). Even if not, at least all my neighbors have met him, so I have a little help. Thank you again!
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Angelo488
Newborn
Newborn


Join date : 2012-08-17

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PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 1:36 pm

One more thing. I have never used one, but how do you guys feel about electric fences?
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Tika
The Long-Winded Canadian
Tika

Male Join date : 2011-08-11
Location : Montreal, QC

Am I doing it right? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Am I doing it right?   Am I doing it right? EmptyFri Aug 17, 2012 1:55 pm

Howdy and Welcome Smile

Quote :
One more thing. I have never used one, but how do you guys feel about electric fences?

Invisible or actual live wire exposed?

Either way it tends to be a toss up around here, and in the end it depends on how stubborn your pup is.

Huskies, being a working dog, tend to have a VERY high pain tolerance. Some have been known to pass right through invisible fences and take the shock and never look back if they wanted to.

Others can learn the perimeter training required with invisible fence installs and do just fine on them.

Starting young helps very much in training your perimeter.


Generally because of how "escapy" Huskies can be, how high their pain tolerance is, and how fixated they can get on dogs, prey, and people, it is advisable to have a tie out, or a 5ft or higher tangible fence that has no foot holds or grip points they could use to help jump or climb it.

~Chris~

_________________
Is this about the cake problem? What's the matter with you mathematicians, cake is never a problem. - Professor Lazlo
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